I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
