He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
