talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
