She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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