yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
