i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
