Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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