shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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