Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
