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I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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