Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
