I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
