I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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