Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
