I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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