i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
