I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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