I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
