Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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