I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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