remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
