She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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