whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
