i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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