in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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