he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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