She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
third nipple confirmed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You were trust falling into bushes
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
