so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
