are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
