Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
