Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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