I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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