never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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