$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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