he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
