Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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