I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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