I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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