Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
