last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We have started to decorate penises.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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