dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
