I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
