i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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