he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
