guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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