Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
