I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize