I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize