Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
