if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize