You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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