I wish life had little blips of pornography
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
