i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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