Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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