Just mADE A PArabola og urine
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
