Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize