didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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