Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize