What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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