Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
