he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize