Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
