The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
