woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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