someone owes me an orgasm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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