No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
