No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
